FINDING MY POWER: becoming fearless, living a more fulfilled life.

Real joy has been hard for me to find. There is no one single reason. I should be jumping up and down — life is great! So where is this drive and passion — the joy — to live life to the fullest?

How do I spark joy — emotional gratitude for life and the knowingness of who I am? How do I ignite drive and passion — excitement for today and the anticipation for tomorrow?

“I have felt trapped most of my life — always knowing it was a self-imposed prison. This is my story of how I found the courage to show up in the world … how I unleashed my potential — my drive and my passion to live a more joy-filled life.” — Pate

How do I create — positive movement — the unfolding — the vortex of endless possibilities and opportunities that fuel the flame of life?

I have felt trapped most of my life — always knowing it was a self-imposed prison. This is my story of how I found the courage to show up in the world and believe in my whole self — in all my humanness. This is how I unleashed my potential — my drive and my passion to live a more joy-filled life.

I think there are a lot of people like me, who sometimes feel this weightiness; a lack of movement from time to time. Personally, I have been unaware of a subtle focus on fitting in and perfectionism that has derailed me from my purpose and passion. Blind to the things that bring me real joy, I unknowingly prioritized trying to figure “it” out so that I didn’t move forward in fear of getting it wrong. It is an ingrained repetitive pattern and illusion that has imprisoned my emotions and cut off access to the internal wellspring of authentic drive, passion, and joy.

I have been following this amazingly gifted singer, Cody Lee, who happens to be autistic and blind. He just won America’s Got Talent and an interview with his mother got me thinking. She stated, “When Cody was younger, he would throw several tantrums a day trying to express his need to connect with his passion for music. We could see it trapped inside of him. We had to help him find a way to get it out and into the world.” I started to see all these disparate pieces, in my head, begin to fit together. They showed a picture of Cody, after throwing a fit, on the floor with one hand still on the keyboard — not giving up. I so identified with how Cody must have felt with his purpose and passion being trapped inside.

Then I read the most interesting and important fact. Cody Lee is 1 of only 35 individuals gifted with this unique ability to hear a song once, remember the lyrics and notes, and sing with perfect pitch. He knew he had a gift to share and was determined to find a way to make it happen — and he did! I have this same determination inside of me.

I have also been following Greta Thunberg, a fearless and powerful 16-yr old climate change activist, who has taken the UN and world by storm. She said on CBS This Morning, “I have Asperger Syndrome — a condition on the autism spectrum. I don’t care about social code and norms.” Gayle King replied, “You often refer to it as your superpower.” This neurodiversity is a gift. It is what allows her to think outside the box, which is critical for addressing global crises. Similar to Greta, I have dyslexia and ADHD and I never recognized these as my superpowers. I always saw them as something I need to overcome to fit in and be normal. In reality, it was a unique part of me and worth being treasured.

“Their positive emotions and unwavering belief of all that ‘I am’ gave them the self-permission to live their authentic life, because there was no internal interference.”

It hit me — I heard what she was saying. We are divinely given what is needed to be all that we are meant to be — our reason for being here now. When Cody and Greta accepted and believed in their unique abilities, even if they seemed like disabilities, there was an internal ignition of drive, passion, and joy. Their positive emotions and unwavering belief of all that ‘I am’ gave them the self-permission to live their authentic lives, because there was no internal interference. There was no resistance of trying to fit in. And because there was no internal resistance, the external world opened up and made a space for them to be seen, to be heard, and to be understood.

This prompted me to look at my life and see what fostered the illusion of having to ‘fit in’. Being a gay man raised in an unaccepting, conservative Christian home left me wanting to be loved. Dyslexia and ADHD left other people overwhelmed, confused and unable to understand me. Being empathic and clairvoyant meant I was speaking a foreign language and envisioning things others could not understand.

I’ve spent a good portion of my life as a son, brother, friend, partner, consultant, and entrepreneur trying to convince others that I fit in — that I was enough. I wanted my family, my tribe, my bosses, and my clients to ‘get’ me. This need overshadowed everything and directly affected how I showed up in the world.

When I collapse the polarities between then and now, I allow myself to stand in contrast, observing without resistance. This is so important to understand. By allowing myself to stand in contrast, I create the opportunity to shift my perspective and see more of the truth. The truth has been that my perceived weaknesses have always been my greatest strengths.

Being gay provided me a unique perspective of seeing the world and life as a beautiful mosaic of diversity. Dyslexia and ADHD provided me neurodiversity. I see patterns and connections that others cannot. My mind is constantly at work and processing new solutions and innovating new ideas. As an empath and clairvoyant, I am able to feel, understand, and see what is possible. My heart translates what is real and important because of how I connect with people and my sight gives me vision to allow others to come together, be inspired with hope, and be led forward.

“I realized the world doesn’t change. I changed my perspective and, therefore, the world around me responded in kind by mirroring my new truth — just as it did for Cody and Greta. This internal alignment initiated a co-creative process.”

I realized the world doesn’t change. I changed my perspective and, therefore, the world around me responded in kind by mirroring my new truth — just as it did for Cody and Greta. This internal alignment initiated a co-creative process. Co-creation is where all things in the Universe are working together — like the inner workings of a timepiece — on our behalf. The caveat is that it can only reflect our experience of what we believe to be true about ourselves and the world around us.

It was only when I stopped trying to fit in and convince others I was enough that the resistance stopped being reflected back at me. The pain of this internal and external struggle kept me from co-creating. We are and always have been co-creative beings — not assembly line workers. We were designed to co-create with our higher selves; with the universe, nature, the world, and with others. It is in this alignment that moments of synchronicity occur and we are able to glimpse our own greatness — transform.

I now know all that has been given, imparted, and experienced was preparing me for my purpose. These pieces of me are not flaws or intended barriers to joy, but unique gifts — my superpowers. I only needed to choose to align to my truth and engage in this co-creation process in order to change my experience. When I let go of the self-imposed resistance and self-separation and I am fearless, nothing will keep me from the life I know I was meant to live.

I invite you to look at the areas of your life where you are trying to ‘fit in’. I hope you are able to tap into more of your own potential in life. I will be curious what you experience and would love to hear what you learn. This is part of my work at Humangood llc unleashing the power of human potential through co-creation — life, work, leadership, and social good.

• A Curious Pate